A Fictional Character Speaks Out from His Addictive World

Ever have one of those days?  Not like mine.  Nobody has days like mine.  I’m in a demanding line of work, but that’s not it.  Lots of people have jobs as demanding as mine.  Some have even more demanding jobs – except on Those Days.  I have lots of tough days, and some seem to last for days on their own.  But, once every few years or so, I have a day that seems to last for weeks.  On days like that, the entire universe, or, at least, the whole world, seems to focus on me, and the fate of much of the world seems to rest squarely on my shoulders.  Some days, I can let others take that responsibility – but not on Those Days.

The laws of physics, of time and space, are never broken during Those Days (as far as I can tell), but the human emotional clock runs at breakneck speed.  People fall in and out of love, lose and regain trust for each other, and make life-changing discoveries – all within hours, or even minutes.  It’s not that this is impossible, but so much of it happening in one day, with every life somehow touching mine, makes it all rather uncanny.

During each of Those Days, the action never stops.  In some ways, this is a good thing.  I need the adrenaline just to keep going – I never sleep until the day is over.  I’m always awake for at least twenty-four straight hours, and sometimes far more.  I never know quite when a Day will start.  It might be right at midnight, or early in the morning, or sometime in the afternoon – but, once it starts, the hour hand makes two full circuits of the clock – or would, if an analog clock were involved.  Somehow, I sense that the master clock is digital.

The death toll on Those Days is, without exception, astounding.  Any given hour makes the climax of a Michael Crichton novel seem, by comparison, like a quiet place to spend a pleasant Sunday afternoon.  People I don’t know, people I know, and even some cherished friends, die off at an astonishing rate.  Every once in a while, someone will seem to die, then come back – but most of the death is the regular, permanent kind.  It takes its toll after a while.

I am highly trained, and that is a good thing.  I can be beaten or tortured within an inch of my life, and be chasing a terror suspect, full throttle, just minutes later.  Sometimes I’ll even catch him.  This kind of thing can happen several times during one of Those Days.  For most of the Day, the whole universe seems to conspire against me.  I barely manage to hold onto life and limb, and I seem to take two steps back for every step forward.  Whenever I do make a major breakthrough, it ends up being only a small piece of the puzzle – much smaller than I originally thought.

Then there comes a frenzied moment, toward the end of the Day, where everything comes together, often in a manner no more convincing than all the other times it came together – but this time, for some reason, the issue really is resolved, and the world is safe again.  If I could ever learn to detect the pattern, I could set my watch by it.  But, then again, if I weren’t so completely caught up in this little joke the universe likes to play on me every few years, who knows how it would all turn out?

So, you think you have bad days.  But nobody, and I mean nobody, has days like mine.

“Come,” she told me, “your fun is all done.
Come, study carefully. Your fun is all done.
Exams are coming fast. Your fun is all done.
Good times are in the past. Your fun is all done,
Fun is all done, fun is all done.”

So, I’ll sit and cram. My fun is all done.
I’m under the gun.

Friends, take note now, my fun is all done.
Semester ends, and, pow, my fun is all done.
I have no hope unless my fun is all done.
I can’t afford to guess. My fun is all done,
Fun is all done, fun is all done.

No more games for now. My fun is all done.
There’s nowhere to run.

Time is dwindling, my fun is all done.
I must learn everything, my fun is all done.
I’ve watched my last TV, my fun is all done.
Until school sets me free, my fun is all done,
Fun is all done, fun is all done.

It’s a sure thing now, my fun is all done.
Sorrow has won.

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This is a tribute to exam takers everywhere.  Christmas season isn’t long over, so most readers shouldn’t have much trouble working out the tune.